Four Mistakes I've Made [And Why I'm Glad I Did]

I want to give you, the reader, a little more background on who I am, and why I do the things I do.   So, this post will delve into things that on the surface don't seem to be related to parenting.  But that's life; one big, conglomerate mass.  Trying to pick a single topic to stick to is like reaching into the bargain bin of yarn at the craft store.  You can't pick up one strand without coming away with a whole knotted mess.  And my life is full of lots of knots.  So here are four choices I've made in my life that are commonly viewed as mistakes, and why I'm glad I've made them, in chronological order.

1.  I didn't go to college.

At least not right away.  When I graduated high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  I didn't even know what I liked to do.  It took me several years to figure that out, and a bit longer to decide on how to go about it.  And I'm okay with that.  I did attend 6 months of an online art college, gearing towards a degree in Digital Design, with the intention of finishing up my education with a Bachelor's degree in Graphic Arts.  I quit when I found out I was pregnant.  The first two months of my pregnancy were not fun.  In fact, I thought I had an extremely persistent flu, or a recurring case of Mono.  The next few months weren't much better, even after I figured out what was ailing me.  There was no way I could have kept my focus on school work.  I still intend to finish my education, but I'm in no hurry.

2. I got pregnant out of wedlock.

That's right, folks, I'm not married.  Ok, so these days that's not so strange.  There's a lot of this going around.  But what makes my case a little different is the fact that my boyfriend, the father of my child, and I are still together.  We've been dating for 5 years now, and living together for most of that time.  That's better than some marriages.  In fact, our relationship operates much like a marriage in all but the legal aspects.  So why don't we just go ahead and tie the knot, you ask?  Well, we like things the way they are.  And marriage is something we both view as permanent.  If we do get hitched, it won't be with the idea of "well, if it doesn't work out we can just get divorced".  For now we're both happy with our situation.  And having a kid together did change our relationship, but not for the worse.  It's not perfect.  But we're happy.  How many people do you know who can say that?

3.  We picked a weird name.

My son's name is Rhydian.  That's pronounced REE-dan.  It sounds weird, it's spelled weird, and he sure as hell won't be able to spell it phonetically.   And we've gotten all the ''How do you say that?" and "Why would you be so cruel?" comments.  Well, let me tell you something about having a ''normal" name.  Sparrow, as you may have guessed, is not my given name.  [And no, I didn't base my pseudonym on a pirate.]   It's Sarah.  Do you know how many people are named Sarah?  788,403 people, in the US, and that's not accounting for spelling variations. [I realize that is nothing compared to the number of "Bella"s there are going to be soon.  But you get my point.]   Not only that but there are no nicknames associated with "Sarah" to pick from.  Not one.  And did I mention I hate it?  Deeply.  So when I was picking baby names, I very specifically picked something so weird everyone would ask about it.  And don't worry, we gave him a perfectly normal middle name.  So he has options, and that's the real key.

4.  I let my kid sleep in my bed.

This is a subject I could write a whole book explaining.  I'll try to keep it fairly concise for now.  Since the day he was born, Rhy has been a cuddle-baby.  There was never a point, in those first weeks home or anytime since, that he would easily go to sleep on his own.  In fact, he's never easily gone to sleep period. [More on that later.]  And having had an emergency c-section [yeah, that sucked], I was ill-prepared to deal with the up-and-down routine at night and at nap time.  So he came to bed with me.  And there he stayed until very recently.  At first, I felt guilty about this.  Was I ruining my child's future as all the sources claimed?  But then I remembered that I didn't give a damn what other people thought.  He's my child, and I trust my instincts to tell me what's best for him.  So I stopped feeling bad, and started enjoying it.  After all, he's only little for a very short time, and we both sleep better that way.

So there you have it.  Say what you will, but I would not change a single thing about my choices.  My life isn't easy, but I love it.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  [Now, a unlimited supply of craft stuff, and we might have a deal... ]